Jayne Martin

“Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.” —Nora Ephron

In a recent conversation with Shelby Leigh of the podcast, “Small Steps to Self-Love,” I was asked about the use of my childhood voice to describe some of the trauma I experienced that I write about in “The Daddy Chronicles-Memoir of a Fatherless Daughter.” 

When a child is abandoned by a parent, they will often develop layers of protection throughout their lifetime just in order to survive. By the time we are into adulthood, we may pretty much think that the past is the past. What I discovered in writing this book is that while my adult self had (I thought) let go of my anger toward my father for his rejection, there was still a child inside saying, “Wait a minute! I’m still hurting!” Had I tried to quiet her voice, it would have been just me telling my story from my perspective of years later. 

As I reader, I know I don’t want to be told a story. I want the experience of entering the story. When you’re writing memoir, allowing your inner child to have her say closes that distance for your reader and, as a bonus, you may be surprised at what you learn. 

To watch the entire conversation on YouTube, click here: